I received a phone call from a woman this morning.  She needed to talk.  She had just read the blog I sent out the night before.  Her emotions were high.  She was ranting: I’m cycling through periods of hostility and irritability, suicidal.  No, homicidal.  I want to kill everyone.  The level of frustration is immense.  I’m overwhelmed with frustration. What am I doing to feed this cycle? 

I requested that she take a few deep breaths.  She continued: I want to crawl in a hole so I don’t kill anyone.  I’m in a corner and nothing left to do.  In a heartbeat I could kill someone.  It’s a cycle.  The same old story!  I give, give, give and get nothing back.  I know I’m supposed to be giving, so why?  I’m not supported, blah, blah, blah!  Nothing ever gets to be about me.  Maybe it’s just a huge death (wish), a metaphysical death.  I have to let go of the physical and tap into the other side.   (Lots of tears at this point of recognition of the truth.)  I need to be quiet and get in touch with my guidance, but I have no time. 

I asked her if it was the body/ego that perhaps wouldn’t let her have time, that the body was struggling with abandonment issues.  I continued that as the pressure to transform herself escalates, the body/ego will fight with all it has, to keep her in limitation/struggle.  I asked her to look back and see where, when and how this backlash was triggered.  She “thought” she didn’t know.

I reminded her that only a few days earlier she had written a seriously intense story to be put on the Universal Stories section of IntuologyNow.com.  I articulated that I had seen that in writing her story she had really opened her heart, and that the potential for a huge backlash was strong; egos don’t want that kind of truth revealed about themselves.  Egos don’t trust vulnerability, transparency. 

Her response was:  Why didn’t you warn me?  Yes, that is where it started.  She went on: People piss me off.  I don’t want to be part of people anymore.  I want to crawl into a hole and die.  I see people doing stupid things and I ask, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  STUPID!  STUPID!”

I asked her if she were talking from her dolphin embodiments.  She went right to the essence of them, responding: We were playful and loving.   No hostility!!  No violence!!  I don’t know how to remember that and bring it here.  There’s the source of my pain: no point in bringing all that loving here.  No one would recognize it.  No one can see what I have.  What can I do?  But…that’s exactly what I need to be doing…bring that love here.  I have to do that.  It’s time. 

Now with composure and dolphin clarity, she reminded me that I had once told her that her dolphin energy had to come to life now…that she must stop worshiping dolphins and instead be the dolphin, that she must live from the heart of the dolphin.   At this moment I witnessed her heart flying open and unseen ones lovingly surround her with their support.

As usual, once this lovely being finds the tool she needs, she immediately begins to use them.  This time she began to tell me about a phone conversation she had just completed with her niece.   The niece needed support, dolphin-type support.   Lucky for the niece that this powerful being’s death wish dissolved affording the dolphin essence to come to life and to purpose. 

This doesn’t mean that she won’t have setbacks, but like I said to this woman, what we have to do when we get tripped up by the force of ego—and remember ego has uncountable powerful tricks to set us back—is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep going.  Keep going.  Keep going.   Sidestep the voice of ego and let intuition, the quiet voice inside, guide you.  Begin to listen from within.  Keep overriding fear.  Dig deep.  Set your sight high.  Commit.  The world needs our greatness, our dolphin energy—community, communion, cooperation, playfulness and harmony. We can do this.  The time is now.  Intuition is the way.