Blogging for 2020: Alright Self
A man was complaining to me recently about his roommate waking him early in the morning. He’s a night person, his roommate a morning person. I listened to his story.
Afterward, I plied a few questions: Didn’t you recently move your bedroom from one room to a room adjacent to the living room? Weren’t you complaining all last month about how your landlady’s activities wake you up? Your roommate is waking you up? (personal) Or his activities are waking you up? (impersonal) He’s doing this to you. (personal) Or he’s doing this, period? (impersonal) What’s actually waking you up? Is it really your roommate? Or…is it your own irritation? Is your irritation just looking to be fed and using your roommate as a sacrifice? What’s the real issue here?
He wiggled this way and that for a moment, not liking this much food for thought. He blustered. He deflected. He argued. He defended.
I asked him to imagine that the next morning he would wake up late. He would wake up “naturally.” Where were those irritating roommate sounds? He would get out of bed curious and confused. He’d walk to the living room. No roommate. He’d check the kitchen. No roommate. His concern born, he’d head for his roommate’s bedroom. There he’d find his roommate dead in his bed.
Now he could be alright! Gone was the roommate. Gone was the irritation. Done! Over! He didn’t have to be irritated anymore.
The scenario hit home—hit hard enough to bring tears. He finally realized just how petty he was being, how he was making something personal out of nothing for the mere reason that his irritation—his discontent—needed to be fed. He recognized that he would miss those tell-tale sounds of a new day dawning that his roommate so faithfully brought forth each morning.
How many of us relate to life through irritation, frustration, discontent, pettiness—using situations and circumstances to feed our emotional/ego bodies? And what’s the value? When we are alright with ourselves then we are alright, period. Life is critically easier when we are alright with ourselves. Our “alright” selves feed on nothing other than “all-rightness.” The world is fine because they are fine.
If ever there was a time to be alright with ourselves, the time is now. There is no time to project our issues onto the world, to keep feeding our egoic selves. There is no time for pettiness. The world is changing in ways that will be/are testing our mettle. We have a better chance of passing the test, if we can be at peace with ourselves; if we can desist from projecting our issues outward; if we can live from our “alright” selves.
When you find yourself falling into irritation and such, stop yourself, be honest, own the truth of your discontent...self-assess, self-correct. Face yourself head-on so that you can begin to self-perfect. Replace the “you” in your thoughts with “I.” I (not you) am my problem. Doing so can make a critical difference in your life…and in the world. An important something we can bring to the world is our “alright” self. Within our “alright” self peace abounds.
Kin, ia
Categories: Peace, Awareness, Winds of Change, Self-awareness, Ego
Tags: 2020 2012 Changing Times Aquarian Age Greater Awareness Self-help Spirituality
Thank you for such a right-on distillation of what I do, and we all do - it is so true. I say "I" first because I own this cronic irritation and the derailment and distraction it causes, and I groan with the tinge of guilt that I project the quilt on others too. Arrgh! I can't see the source of the irritation in me right away, sometimes not at all. It is hard to recognise when it is going on, other than it feels icky. That's a clue, a start. Stop and access it, as you say.
And blaming others for "icky" is the next clue. "Ah shoot I'm doing it again. Dang!" What am I afraid of? or, what is it that they are doing that I do myself? comes up with a gasp sometimes. But it's hard. I have to stay conscious. Or as the "now" teachers suggest, just observe yourself. Have fun with it if I can: It helps to start with an "ahah!" So, I agree with you completely. You have a good focus on the problem on Terra in a clear little pool of example lit up with the sun of enlightenment. I look into the pool, and see the reflection of myself, and laugh.
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2js...what beautiful reflection. Yes, it's not easy to turn ourselves "right-side-up", to take ownership of our own discontent. Difficult to be hyper-vigilant in regard to that ruthless ego-self. Much easier to externalize our issues, blame others..blame the world, blame the dog. We think that if we can make our world alright we can be alright, but we can never be alright while irritation--that sliver of discontent--is poking around inside us. The only thing we can make alright is ourselves.
As you say, it's hard owning our irritation. Yes, we have to stay conscious. Yes, to get to our "alright" selves, we must take personal responsibility, we must keep the finger pointed at ourselves. "Ahahs" are signs of being conscious, of taking responsibility. At first the "ahahs" can be painful, even shameful and more. Once into brutul self-honesty long enough, once we get the hang of it, once we get closer and closer to our "alright" selves, the process does get to be fun. There is great freedom in being able to laugh at ourselves. In fact, the journey from irritation to the "alright" self is a journey of self-empowerment. Again, thank you for your beautiful self-assessment, your bare-bones honesty.
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This just made me smile.... At some point, acceptance feels like defeated surrender -- and so I have wondered if I have just taken "the easy way out." But I realize that might be precisely the point -- the easy way -- the path of least resistance -- peace. Would I rather be continually right -- or continually content. I know what I choose. Much love, Ia!
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So, situations trigger our discontent, irritation to bring it to the light...out of the depths, darkness and into the light. And so it is.
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To our "alright selves," let us be fishers of men and gather god's higher thoughts. Gather them with our brilliant minds. Soft and gentle.
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This very subject seems to be exactly what is being squeezed out of me of late....out of all of us, it seems....grateful for the reminder, as always...going within to see what the outside irritation is bringing forth....
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